Church #16. Community Bible Church. Easter Sunday 2014. 8762 155 St NW

Ok normally I wouldn’t say this, but don’t go here, just don’t go here. It’s bad, REAL BAD. Why you may ask… well your about to find out.

Easter Sunday traditionally involves a “sun rise service” which in Edmonton means that you will be looking at going to church around 6:30( no thank you) . I proceeded to arrive at 11am ( regular service time)  and walked in and  took a seat. The building and decor was old and outdated.  And the service was on a stage at the front of the room. It was kind of oddly set up with two small pianos on each side of it which two ladies played at the same time. Besides the podium being at their front of the stage, it looked like it was set up for filming 1980’s TV interviews! No joke, there were 4 wicker seats,  2 on each side angled perfectly as if there were cameras there, silk plants were placed strategically and everything! 

You get the idea :P The church had about 50 people, once again a full family mix, but that is due to the day. This church is defiantly made for an older crowd that doesn’t like change, but that is still no excuse for what happened at the end of the service.

I had a pleasant fellow sit down beside me, I’m guessing he is around 35-ish. I did think too much of it until he went up to the stage and sang in a full rich operatic voice. Did I mention he kind of looks like carrot top? :P  This was once again a church where you are expected to bring your own bible, and so this time I was going to have to go without.

One of the more odd things I noticed was the offering. I know they always have those little envelope things to put your money in, but I never do. I give one Lonny to each church nothing more nothing less, and I don’t hide it. They said a prayer to bless the offering and then two gentlemen walked to the back of the church with the plates, but they didn’t get passed up thru the crowd?? Needless to say they didn’t get a sheckle from me and I don’t regret it. It was the only church where they actually announced to the crowd that the donations go towards their missionary work overseas and in the city.

There one good thing that I heard that day. It was a humorous story about a German woman that was so hell-bent on the fact that Christ could not raise her from the dead, that she gave specific instructions to her relatives, that when she died that her grave be ultra-reinforced so that even if she was risen that there would be no way she could be removed from her grave.  In a great twist of irony I small seed found a tinny water crack in the marble slab and slowly over many years worked its way up and right thru the middle, cracked thru all the reinforcements and split the grave in two.  A great tree now stands over the grave that “could not be raised” :P

Ok, so it has been all happy sunshine rainbows up until this point. But that ends here.

There was a different speaker called up , a skinny man aprox 65 years old. He spoke with great vocal punch! ( seriously it was just like a TV show!). this person explained that he spend 2 months every year on Pakistan preaching the word of Christ to the local people ( this dude has to be crazy). But this is what got me. He started explain that the Muslims have a celebration where they  walk around Muhammad’s grave as to say “here is our great leader! He is here!” and then he exclaimed that “But their leader’s grave is a grave of defeat! Because he is still dead! Jesus’ tomb is a tomb of victory! Cause our savior lives and has triumphed over death!” I the crowd followed with a sound of agreement. Someone should have got a photo of my face when I heard that.

Congratulations Church #17 for being the first and hopefully last Edmonton church to encouraging religious intolerance. You blasphemous Pharisee loving, Paul quoting herd of goats! PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT DOUCHE-CANOES!

I’m not done. :P lol.

What you need to remember was the fact that this dude was not the head of the church he was just a speaker, and the other fellow up there (also of a similar age) seamed much more warm and friendly. So I decided I would direct my questions at this more inviting fellow.

 That was my 2^nd mistake. 

What seam start as an enjoyable conversation soon turned into a hour long argument. It was very clear that this fellow had a message for me. Or this is what I got the impression of.

#1. I will not find god by visiting other denominations and I am wasting my time.

Well I could spend my time just as well on You Tube and Pintrest right? :P

#2. If I worship in another temple then that is blasphemy!

Commit blasphemy… Check! Another thing off my checklist

#3.  I will never understand how to be a good Christian until I study the book of John inside and out and live by every word of it.

Bro, I’m only in the book of Joshua. Talk to me again in a year!  

#4. Nothing has ever been changed in the bible because the person that does it will suffer a fate worse than death!”

Do you seriously think there was not some Non-Christian ( or possibly even Christian) emperors in the past that didn’t give a rats ass, and was more than willing to tweak the bible to help control their Empire?  What the ancient illiterate population don’t know don’t hurt them right?

#5.  The King James bible is %100 the whole truth and nothing but the truth and every other translation and interpretation is wrong!

*face palm

After all this I shook his hand and told him straight up that I am never coming back. And marched out, but I guess what? I am not the only one! You know how they normally put prayer requests in the back of the pamphlet?  Well I went home and was looking thru them and I noticed there was also a note to pray that Gordon, Matthew and Nadine to “come back to the church”. All I have to say to those 3 is RUN! Just keep running! I hope you find what you are looking for! And more so, I hope you find the pure love that and joy which is the stuff that God is made of!

I need a drink, who’s got the wine? 

Church #15. Calvary Lutheran Church –Good Friday 2014.

Wecome to Good Friday 2014! So today I’m in Calvary Lutheran Church to observe Good Friday in a church for the first time in my life. One thing I noticed, was what was a tall brick wall, painted over with white paint, reminding me of the walls in school gyms that many of us know. There was only 2 pains of stain glass in this church, one to the left and right, one depicting Jesus playing with the children and the other of him praying in the garden just before we was arrested. The sermon and words to the song were displayed on two large digital projector screens on both sides of the front wall. There was also more seating on a second terrace.

When I walked in I was immediately greeted by a senior gentleman, who asked me if i would like a seat at the front? I was kind of taken back and didn’t know what to think of the situation (is he asking if I have been bad??)  I have never encountered a “church user” before kind of a pointless job don’t ya think? My reply was “ I’m sure I will find a comply spot” I said with a smile and I walked on past.  There was another senior lady standing with him, and I could hear her say “you’re not going to walk her down?!”Maybe I am a bit too independent for my own good.

I mention the two projectors earlier; there was also a full mic and sound system. All operated by what appeared to be 12 and 15 year old in the back left hand corner of the room. As my father would say “if you can’t figure out how to work a new piece of technology, go ask the youngest child.”

The church service began and it included a young girl in jeans and t-shirt, carrying in a 10 foot raw wooden cross on her shoulder and progressively dragging it to the front of the room. 

here it is just before they put it way. 

Being the day it was, it was not surprising that they read over the part of the bible that spoke of how Jesus was arrested, beaten up. And being treated like a game of hot potato being thrown back and forth between the Romans and the Jews as they decide who has to take the blood on their hands. (Eventually it was the Romans. ) I noticed that when they mentioned the “father, son and holly spirit” no one crosses themselves. I did it regardless just because I have been programmed this way.

There was so  much detail going on  that I could not scribble fast enough to take notes on all the things I had questions on, but I was able to  catch a few.

So I noticed that when Jesus is in the garden and he has this looming feeling that the jig is up, the authorities come for him. He confronts them head on and gives himself up willingly but will full assertion that he has done nothing wrong.  Then immediately Peter whips out his sward and cuts off the ear of one of the helper slaves in the crowd of solders, kind of as a warning shot. Jesus then asks him to back down, and is taken away. Simon ( aka Peter) is an odd one. Cause the same guy that pretty much pulls a weapon in front of a mass of roman soldiers and is like “if your goanna take Jesus you need to get thru me first!” But only a few weeks later consistently denies that he has any relation or friendship with Jesus, while Jesus was in custody. One hell of an indecisive guy in my opinion.

He also becomes the first bishop of Rome and is technically the start of the line of popes. He is believed to be the start of the Catholic Church. *rolls eyes grinds teeth.

There is mention that when Jesus is on the cross that he says he is thirsty and they happen to have a jug of sour wine sitting nearby, so they tie a sponge to a long stick and raise it up so he can drink, and after that moment he proclaims “it is finished” and instantly dies. Upon further inspection I discover that all this has a lot of meaning, because while Jesus is up there dying, all the Jews are celebrating Passover.  And in their celebrations they will drink sweet wine to celebrate there deliverance, but they will eat bitter foods with it to remind them of the suffering.  Jesus’ Passover was all suffering.

There is lastly mention of a secrete disciple, actually he had a few, but the one I will talk about is a guy named Nicodemus. The reason I find this so interesting is that Nicodemus was a Pharisee! The guy was part of the same organization that was out to persecute Jesus! That’s a pretty ballzy move in my opinion.  Doing the kind of job he did he could not meet up with him easily. He often had to sneak out at night to meet up with Jesus to talk to him. 

Normally church services end with people all meeting up and having tea and sweets in the basement while the children chase each other around. This was not the case; everyone was dead silent and filed out one by one. I was latter told that this is the tradition of Good Friday church service and should be treated like a day of morning.

There were many moments that were taken in-between readings to pray and meditate and one thing that was asked to be prayed for is that “our Jewish brothers and sisters find salvation in Christ”.

If you think that was a little eye brown raising? Wait till you hear what happened 2 days later. Over an hour of arguing with the pastor on Easter Sunday! What a gong show! 

 Was a lovely Friday! :)